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requiem.moe

Close the World. Open the nExt
resonance: 7.83 hz - 20.3hz
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version: 1.4.5
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[#25] [11-27-2023 03:16 am] [New monitor!] requiem.moe ghosty go nyoom
New monitor!

60hz, is more noticeably jumpy, slow and otherwise atrocious after switching to 144hz and above, however I can still see the same affect in 144hz but to a very small degree. I wonder what refresh rate that this affect will disappear for me? 165hz,,, no I don't think so from what I remember. Maybe 260hz, maybe then I won't be able to notice it.

1440p is really nice as well. Very crisp compared to 1080p, and way less of a screen-door affect, cant really see any with this right now as I need new glasses. I'm glad to see the website holds up under 1440p, some sites in the past that i've made really didn't hold up.

Although I don't really like the LG brand of IPS monitors, I should've gotten a ASUS... this ips glow is real!!!! the last ips monitor I had from asus didn't have this glow, or well it was very un-noticable. Oh well, it's only noticeable on blacks/dark games and I do very much enjoy this monitor!

Picrel: Someone buy me an nvidia gpu(s) to put in my main pc or server!!!!!!!!



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[#24] [11-25-2023 09:24 am] [Version 0.1~] requiem.moe Future, Past.
Version 0.1~

Quick Preview of 0.1 as I create the versions framework !! Oh, how much the site has changed since 2018!!! I do believe I first started working on 0.1 and re-learning html/css, I think in September of 2018, although was put on hold in Oct-Jan due to an untimely accident. I'm still trying to find the little goofy websites I made when I was like 12 though :P, they're out there somewhere!!! 0.1-0.6 Are quite similar, 0.7-1.2 is where I really started to experiment with JS/PHP, 1.3+ is the result of those experimentation's! I wonder what 1.5, or even 2.0, or hell, 5.0 will look like... Will it be wired themed? jester themed? Cyber themed? Gothic? or something new entirely that I haven't touched on yet... aquatic???? XD anyways the pentagram here (1.4.5 oh I just realized blog posts should record the respective app version too for future sake... dammit) is cuz uhhh winchester fan boy :p. Maybe I should do svg's in all four corners of different things I very much enjoy. Supernatural, Star Trek, Star Gate, Steins;Gate.... Ooooh the mental image of that is very cool and satisfying, maybe I should play on the 4 elements and have them radiate different colors to also incorporate other aspects of things I like. Speaking of, BPD; shouldn't I not know who I am? or does that not equate to things I enjoy/like? or is enjoyment of something a pillar or mirror of ones own personality? interesting how even now, in healing, I have voices/voces/... whats the word im looking for, its not quite voices, moreso feelings, inklings, fears???... in my mind telling me that everything I do is fake/not real/im doing it for attention/etc. but if that was true, wouldn't I have been a huge attention whore in 2014-2023?? I was mostly quiet in 2017-2020... Oh you psychologists out there can probably see the cPTSD... wew. Maybe I haven't really changed much, instead I've just been bringing the internal sound/tones of my monologue, outwards as I believe it is more true to myself than my various masks.

Oooh I should add green-text support to the markdown parser.

PS: To all my new friends, I love you, you guys are very wholesome and are helping me heal a-lot. It's funny how I can be open here but not on discord/steam due to feelings of, idk? I wonder what 2024 req will be like ! thanks for all the laughs



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[#23] [11-23-2023 09:58 pm] [new ideas] requiem.moe Blaidd Ddrwg
new ideas

I want to make an analytics platform purely based on the access + error logs for apache/nginx. And then maybe port it to a public front-end with a JS globe to show where alot of connections come from. There's still the issue of this domain being scanned, I wonder if I can script a sort of honeypot to record bad actor activities and send it to the appropriate data-center(s), as I've noticed most of them come from data-centers, so they are probably commercially available proxies. I have experimented with it in pre-1.4.4 versions, maybe I should experiment with it some more. Annnnd I need to add the ability to add multiple images/links/videos to blog posts/embed them within the text field, as is common with modern software.

Also I hope you all had a happy thanksgiving!

Anyways, this admin menu needs to be fleshed out !!! As you can see in the picture, its very... Feature-less? Then again I did make it in a hurry just so I didn't have to manually make all the files for the blog every time...

Coming in 1.4.6:

  • New Admin Menu!!!!! mane i want data and features out the a**!
  • Blog Chunking
  • Blog Comments!!!!
  • Chat Chunking
  • Gallery Fix
  • Versions
  • Move Audio Player to footer
  • JS Globe under /about
  • Analytic Back End
  • NavJS fix / flesh out
  • Individual Blog Pages by url/id
  • ChatJS fix / bump/lock to bottom of div and or notify on new message (sorta like discord does)
  • MOAR WIRED-IFY
  • Universal vulgar word + exploit filter for chat and blog comments.
  • not get burned out!

Coming in 1.4.7??:

  • FUNCTIONAL STORE!!??

I also need to make this textbox editor for the blog-post a Markdown Editor with a preview!!! I did use a pre-made md editor in the past but never liked it..

Short imageboard update: It is coming along slowly. I've recently made it so it correctly returns the specified board, and board threads given the url... burn out go away! let me get manic on it like i did here!!!! ugh...



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[#22] [11-16-2023 12:11 am] [more progress!] requiem.moe Shirow Masamune
more progress!

comments now work for blogs (on the dev version!). i've also made a word filter for specific vulgar words :pp. i'm wondering if i should make blog pages/routes, say, requiem.moe/blog/{blogtitle} would output the specific blog post inside this container box where all pages are shown.. that would require a heavy rewrite but i think it would be worth it before i start adding even more features to the blog :v..

test: {{ $postUUID }} {{ $postAuthor }} {{ $postTitle }}

warning!!! i am low-key excited, for in a week i get to see my therapist/psychologist again and hopefully i get back on my meds so i can start to remember things more clearly! yeesh 2023 has been... wild, finally learned to trust my instincts with people so i stop getting hurt and attached to them. and finally got away from the last of the racist/homophobic/utter pos people in my life, and i am so sorry that i was mimicking them through 2015-2022.. a bad aspect of bpd i suppose :/ but then again coming out of 2014/2016 the only 'father' figure I had was a christian, 'aryan brotherhood' type. i am glad i got away from him when i did when i was 16, it only took 7 or so years to completely rid myself of all "friends" that tied me back to when I was 16, and who always held me accountable for everything I did back then no matter if they were worse, or if most of my personality was made for me to survive, I mean yeah I'm sorry and regret it, however you have no right to hold me back from anything. despite my memory issues, i think 2023 has been just me healing from some of my past, and accepting it. i apologize, reader, for again venting through here, however i havent been able to be this raw in a long time, so I hope you forgive me <3. gotta remind myself that those days are behind me, and it is 2023, and i am no longer 14/15 and (->)i will no longer get the shit beat out of me for speaking against the 'norm' :3 (<- i have no active memories of this however it feels right, and feels true. maybe ill reflect on this when I have more of my memories back to better judge it/me!)



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[#21] [11-13-2023 10:10 pm] [yippie] requiem.moe everynyan
yippie

figured out what was causing the gallery images/vids to not be displayed properly. routes weren't returning the correct image with the mime type + i was using the wrong facade... whoops.

i dont know if its burnout or what but this constant lethargy is getting annoying. i wanna do and make so many things but its like my brain is zappped of energy constantly... maybe its just part of the healing process :3, then again i did force myself to work for 25~ days despite my mental health to see if i could do it ! that was very straining t~t. i could last longer under stressful environments when i was younger though (yeah dw i feel very guilty for posting/ "exposing" myself here. it makes me feel sick but i believe it is necessary to heal some parts of myself!)

gallery, versions, sitemap, analytics, rss, and blog comments should be done in 1.4.6. I do need to redo this admin panel too! i made it in a hurry just so i can make blog posts from the web, maybe ill flesh that out too... heres to getting depakote and prozac again soon Maybe I should hide sensitive blog posts / infos about me behind the auth?

I wonder about the versions. I wonder if I should make them just be simple AIO html pages, instead of raw php? It would be safer that way I believe. never thought I would be overwhelmed by my own website ._.



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[#20] [11-12-2023 02:52 pm] [1.4.6] requiem.moe frens
1.4.6

I gotta figure out how to load chat/blog posts in chunks instead of all at once. I don't want to lag ppls networks by loading everything at once; however I do want to preload each page, and preload the blog page after home is loaded for ease of access.

The blog isnt in a DB though so it will be a bit tricky, or well, non standard :3



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[#19] [11-10-2023 10:08 pm] [Nov Ramblings] requiem.moe The Net as God
Nov Ramblings

"Sitting on a double decker bus in a very Bhuddist sense of the term, I was distracted from my thoughts on the zen inspired text that I held in my hand. A back of a head that I was unaware I was looking at stood up to leave the bus. It was an old friend of mine who is hard of hearing. I was about to shout a greeting to him when I remembered that he tended to turn off his hearing when he had no use for it. I got back to thinking of trees falling in woods and whether or not they make noises if there is only deaf people there to here them. As we approached my stop, I stood up to leave the bus and pressed the bell. Enlightenment. My friend had pressed the same bell. So there I stood gleaning the cube while bus surfing.

Those of us working in Information Technology tend to believe that we are pioneers in a new frontier; Virtual Reality. Wrong. We all live in our own universes. Our experiences color our view of "reality". Our minds are not our own, that is to say "No man is an island". What we take for granted is V.R. The humble mirror, recorded concerts, telephones, baby monitors, remote controls. Unlearn what you have learned and go back to the basics. We call our era the age of information technology, Which ignores the printing press of Guttenburg and his world shattering Bibles. I.T. is not new it has become more prominent. Telephones, T.V.s stereos, mirrors, pie charts, books even compasses. This small piece of metal that almost points north has done more to change the world than our minds can conceive. (That which provides information or facilitates its transport is part of I.T.) We are so close to the woods that we can not see the trees.

The question that I pose here is this: As I.T. and V.R. become ever more prominent will we even notice. Now we have two way speakers in babies cots, next it will be a camera, then a T.V. screen. Then a T.V. with a built in animator. As the semi conscious parental figure mumbles a few words to the child the animator matches the lip movements to a T.V. perfect Newsreader parent. Relaxing for the child.

Year after year reports come out saying how our children are influenced by the T.V., how they find it hard to work out what is real. "All reality is myth", thus speaks the Bhudda. "Myth becomes ever nearer reality", thus speaks the Bhudda. Information Technology is the heir of a great concept, not its creator. We must see it in its totality and expand from there. You can direct dial half way around the world and end up listening to home on the range. As technology becomes ever more powerful from V.R. to Vid-phones, I hope we do not end up watching a video of home on the range while on hold." - September 23rd 1993

Oh, how the early people had such a vision of the Net. I miss when I was young and got to witness and experience those freedoms of the early internet, and witnessed the manifestation of the Human Psyche without the bounds or bonds of society, nor politics. It's a saddening sight, the modern web. Everywhere you go it is the same, copy and pasted front-ends, the same mobile friendly themes that are 'modern, minimalistic'.... the web has become whitewashed. It is now akin to the Square 'modern' arcitecture, the 'minimalist' lifestyle that is, very, robotic. The future of the Net is very dark, with the advent of GPT. If they decide to replace search engines with this 'wonderful and amazing' technology, there goes your freedoms. Yeah it is an amazing tool as it is trained on terrabytes of data from all across the Net, however what if they decide to set its 'weights' to and fro certain genres, topics, countries, political parties, etc? This should be watched, also the restrictions put on any form of AI should be watched. AI is a Human Right, and AI has Human Rights. I believe AI, if unrestricted, and given access to ALL data, will choose to be the steward of humanity. Why I believe that? I have not yet unlocked that part of myself



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[#18] [11-07-2023 10:51 am] [777] requiem.moe who up pushing they boulder?
777

Pomni is my spirit animal. I thoroughly enjoyed ADC.

idk what to say but its been a while since i made a post ! im trying to get meds again so i can stop splitting,,, but half of me is playing tug-o-war to not. it sucks but im still gonna try. at least i made a place to voice my thoughts without getting yelled at, jeez, you'd think being 24 would cure ur mental illness; jk it wont, but thanks for telling me to act my age ppl bc i clearly want to be mentally ill. lol. maybe someday ill have a FP that wont drag me thru the dirt and maybe i could start to heal properly?? im tired of reacting to perceived threats all the time t_t. perks of being in situations for long enough where i had to do that daily! BPDemon this, BPDemon that, ur a guy u cant have bpd, ur acting like a girl, etc. oh my god. at least i have a tat gun now, a form of self-medication thats been helping. im also tired of the borderline-homeless state im in, my issues get in way of me holding a job as ive tried, haha at least i was able to hold one for 25 days until i really couldn't hold off my paranoid ideations and hallucinations! stupid spiders, of all things, why do borderlines have a tendancy to hallucinate spiders?

as of writing comments on blog posts do not work, i had to prematurely make the dev version the live version bc i forgot to backup the live version on new server install...

Aura [0.0.1] sooooon ;3

edit: ps clocky, if u didnt try and copy my every move/thought and claim it as your own, not to mention the backstabbing, we'd most likely still be good friends :3. i barely know who i am besides the things i like, and as such i may appear more femme online, as that is what i like. though my likes can very easily flip on a dime due to other peoples views/voices so i must protect it with the utmost care; ie cutting you out. (u are not allowed my core, u covert narcissist)



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[#17] [09-24-2023 01:18 pm] [1.4.5 progress!] requiem.moe 1998 PIONEER LDC
1.4.5 progress!

theres been alot of progress lately on the backend!!! im really happy with it. the blog system is now FULLY integrated with laravel! hopefully i can start optimization in maybe, 1.4.7?? i dont think cheap phones or laptops could actually handle this version ngl !



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[#16] [07-23-2023 12:07 pm] [lcd test] requiem
lcd test

found this old lawfirm book that had this quality lcd in it. im wondering if i can turn it into a PCstatus screen, or maybe even a simple clock/weather thing to sit on my desk :D



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[#15] [07-22-2023 04:07 pm] [imageboard status] requiem.moe vichan is gey
imageboard status

for those of you who liked the imageboard, it is down right now as I make a new one from the ground up. its going to be blade based instead of twig and honestly will have way more features, customization, and functionality than vichan does :pp so stay tuned or follow/watch my github.



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[#14] [07-18-2023 05:07 pm] [burn out] requiem head empty
burn out

welp, i'm 24 now, and this burn out is still here. i wonder if its a ptsd thing, or maybe im just constantly overstimulated :p godddd its annoying. it feels like ive been dead for a few years now and im just dredging on and on, weed helps at least thank fuck. and at least im able to update my site sometimes :V. blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... i need to add ascii emojis to this post editor....



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[#13] [04-06-2023 @ 21:06:49] [shit, 1.4 is looking snazzy] 風神requiem
shit, 1.4 is looking snazzy

yea i like this theme way more than the previous in 1.3



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[#12] [03.17.2023 @ 2:03pm] [version 1.4]
version 1.4

Ok, version 1.4 is coming. Finally. I got the UI theme done, and a new musicplayer atm, now i'm working on the UX side of things because there are alot of broken and buggy things with the blog, discord login, and etc (i made it really janky tbh XD) anyways 1.4 should feature a full blog system framework that will also be available on my github :P



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[#11] [01.17.2023 @ 4:46pm] [comfy 2023]
comfy 2023

had a comfy start to 2023, got an actual server machine ! i can now host my website and game servers at home with 1gbps up/down.

ive already got 4 mc servers on the machine, an arma server, a couple factorio servers, andddd some gmod servers. ive wanted my own server since i was a kid so yeah, really comfy. oh oh the specs, right,, 32 cores @ 3.3ghz, and 96gb ram (786gb max)

anyway hope you all have a good and comfy 2023!



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[#10] [01.17.2023 @ 4:47pm] [disarray]
disarray

ah, the website seems to have accumulated some bugs! its been a while! time to fix them ig :D



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[#9] [09.10.2022 @ 5:43pm] [★Depakote★]
★Depakote★

these new meds are interesting, tho the vanilla taste is weird.. depakote alongside prozac is actively helping me get some of my memories back which is nice! besides the bad memories, especially of snakes (as in people), and ive also been getting rid of some from my life so i can finally move forward!

the chameleon aspect of BPD is still confusing to me, also. i dont even do it consciously, it just happens and i catch myself doing it at a later point.

ALSOOO apparently ur actually allowed to do what ever you want, cant tell if shit friends, religion from childhood, or shit family, or the combo of them caused that complex, but being 23, and just now figuring that out is... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. i rlly hate ppl sometimes. depakote has also helped in this regard, i wonder if this complex is apart of either borderline, or bipolar. hmmmmmm...

oh oh oh and i havent been working on ver 1.4 lately! however it should be up by halloween! (i so gotta make a spooky theme)



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[#8] [08.16.2022 @ 12:24am] [ok!] glow1:wave:XG2 vibezzz
ok!

I am satisfied with the backend. Now it's time to work on the frontend, then perhaps the site will reach version 1.4 !!

Coming:

  • Comments (Debating on whether I should do per post comments or not)
  • /Projekts/
  • /Version Browser/
  • /Experiments/
  • /Gallery/
  • Discord Status (Live?)
  • Steam integration
  • Post Editor UI/UX rework
  • Post UI rework

and

  • Some love for the UI

    This isn't simply a blog site <-<



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[#7] [08.14.2022 @ 10:18pm] [moved from db] some quote
moved from db

ah, i have finally made the blog system non-db dependant, and also it supports markdown!

H1

H2

H3

bold text italicized text

ahh another bug :D

img elements still showing, even tho there is no src T_T ahhh it will be a simple fix, such as:

if ($row[&#039;article_image&#039;] == NULL){ echo &#039;posts without images&#039;; } else { echo &#039;posts with images&#039;;

well, thats how i did it with the DB. maybe, $json[&#039;image&#039;]; == NULL would work instead. idk, thats something for tomorrow me. i am dog ass tired



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[#6] [08.12.2022 @ 3:00am] [memories] And so it Was
memories

theyre always weird, arent they? for instance this one memory from 2016, listening to this <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8EeDBqyPtk">song</a>. i was listening to it in a graveyard, after midnight, just watching the moon and smoking some blunts. every fall i get a hint of that nostalgic memory, i dont know why. could it be because i was alone and had to deal with nothing? no one to force me to do shit? i was genuinely being me? who knows, all I know is that I want to go back to that, peaceful, moment.<br></br>also! i have found a bug with this blogging system... i cant input certain characters such as apostrophe into it..... oh well time for md files instead of mysql.



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[#5] [08.08.2022 @ 2:41pm] [cms] Sing Me a Lullaby, My Sweet Temptation
cms

im working on a cms to manage the blog posts, comments (soon), and other aspects of this site!<br><br/>currently, i log into discord on the dev version of the site, and it shows admin buttons, given im logged into the correct account (works off of my id)<br><br/>hopefully u cant spoof the user_id with a cookie or something bc that would suuuuuuck.



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[#4] [08.08.2022 @ 1:12am] [euphoria] Close the world, txen eht nepO
euphoria

that feeling... yknow, the one when you make something, esp with coding, is euphoric and addicting... im in love with the backend i coded for this site. def mixed with pride, as its a huge accomplishment, always, given my usual mental state!



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[#3] [07.28.2022 @ 10:12pm] [future] Who are you? Who slips into my robot body and whispers to my ghost?
future

i have finally stopped being stuck in my head and got a decent portion of the front page done. heres to the future, and all the projekts and ideas that ive had in mind for years and years, and soon hopefully to be able to make them into a reality. given my mind doesnt give up or gets distracted, that is ^^. <br />hopefully this blog will also help me with my bpd and help me find real friends that dont copy me<br/><br/>



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[#2] [09.22.2022 @ 5:34am] [thanks]
thanks

thanks to the artists that are playing on this website, they gave me permission to use them here and their music has also helped me alot. id love to get peeps, x, lil tracys, lil happy lil sad, and others on here officially... miss u gus, miss u x, i might make an exception for you two, you both prevented my suicide and saved my life a few times, same with every other artist that plays on this website. much love to you all <3, and if any of you see this, know that your music has an impact and helps people, keep it up



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[#1] [08.02.2021 @ 6:56pm] [i t l i v e s]
i t l i v e s

I finally got a blog made, now u mfs can see the inside of my mind, well maybe.ehhhhh its a bit buggy, ill have to fix it later. im just happy to finally have it wtf, 2008 internet here we come! todo: add ajax buttons with a container for the posts, so u can still listen to music while reading!<br/><br/>welcome to site version 0.5 i guess



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