I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the residue of past psychosis, the onset of something new, or maybe something greater approaching. A foreboding… an intimation… a sense of imminence.
I feel it building, like something is nearing a climax. This once was feelings of impending doom. But now, after beginning to rebuild and align myself, it feels… divine. Warm, even. Maybe it's just my subconscious noticing signals of improvement, a quiet confirmation that I'm on the right path.
And yet, I've been stuck, trapped in loops of analysis, prediction, simulation. Comfortably paralyzed. But I know I can't stay here. I have to embody That future version of myself.
Future me, how does this song feel now? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9wFyPRP5hQ
To those who fueled my self-destruction: thank you. The endless cycles of breakdown and rebuilding were necessary. But now, I step into the phase of participation. This, surely, is just the beginning!