My mind often goes into flow about the state of things. That's it. I'll now spiral into optimizing things. I know I can fix this god-forsaken country if I had the money, but alas I'm forced to suffer my own yearnings to improve things. I know I can do it, I know my ideas are good, I know I'm the right person. This stupid capitalistic rat race is killing our species and our planet, and soon to be life itself. It needs to change, drastically. But I cannot, I dance(fight) with myself in my head too much. I'm no communist, I'm no capitalist, these both are archaic and we need something else. Even the American Bureaucracy is so fucking outdated, it too needs changed. Everyone is worried about AI taking the humanity out of everything, we've already taken it out ourselves, with everything else. Governance and political models should aim to improve the human condition, not profit or steal or force labor/"share the load". It's everyone/everything's first time living too.
I hate being intelligent in this age. I can see everything but no one else can, it seems like. It's a most lonely feeling. And I'm still hiding my real voice from this blog... god dammit, I can feel it behind this current consciousness stream, and I want to reach it so I can be authentic again, but the damage between us is too much. Me and my masks... There's so much depth and reasoning and intellect I refuse to showcase here and I hate that.
I guess the real question is why do I, after everything I had to endure, still get hurt from other people's suffering. And why do I want to stop other people's suffering so greatly? I don't understand it. I hate humans and yet I want to improve the overall living of every living thing, not just humans. But that requires money. A lot of money. Sigh, I'm spiraling again because I can't achieve this goal because of fucking humans and their pathetic egos. I can't really blame them, it's very "child-like" in the grand scheme of things.
I'll try for President some day, fuck it. This desire/dream to improve our species is too great to ignore.