It's been a free for all! Me vs me vs me vs the world! I'm edging manic euphoria while waiting to be accepted into therapy, how annoying. My mind won't shut up about different possible, impossible, and imaginable threats, possible me-hurting my court/legal stuff, but why! I've done nothing but build cool things! I care not for competition! So why tell me what I'm doing is wrong! That everyone is secretly trying to compete with me, even if it is reinforced sometimes!
My heart can scream! Soon in colors! I must re-learn how to draw as a way to vent, it's going to help me so much. I will be able to channel even more emotions into my work! This intimation, this premonition, this soon-to-be apotheosis, this soon to be completion of my perfect self! This perfectionism that drains me ever more, come sooner!
That, dear reader, is pure channeled feelings I often feel. I like to pour fuel on it by listening to some music while thinking about my future
What a dastardly, romance. I'm not in any danger of hurting myself so don't worry. It's a malformed way of healing, I believe. I'm so ready to fly, to live, but I never learned. It's annoying, yeah, but at least I got my cool projects. :p
I need to learn the things I wanted to when I was 15, German, Russian, Dancing, Art. It will heal me, but I also need to heal and perfect my body, not just the mind! I'm noticing the circling in this post and it's annoying me. But hey, at least I'm getting an inkling of drive back and day by day I'm loving myself more, so something is working :D