I don't really remember when the last time I felt lonely, and I can't quite remember why I don't remember. It just kinda got lost in my frenzy for my future I suppose. Maybe I need to take a break and relax my brain, a good musical day dream should help, but this desire to build is too great? Maybe that is a new form of loneliness, not being around anyone who has that same drive to build things. I do get sad and feel regret when sharing things I make anymore, as my current friends don't really say anything about them and just kinda ignore them. Who knows, I've changed so much since last November and that cool hug feeling I wrote about and I'm still changing. I'm having my own mini mental-singularity in the sight of none... Maybe I'm just too used to being alone that I think it's normal. Maybe that's why I constantly feel guilt apart from cptsd? Did I truly forget the origin of these feelings? Sighhhhh, that's boring to think about. I'll leave it to future me, he'll understand things more.
Also, I hope I didn't come off as rude / dismissive to a certain reader whom emailed me, I just focus on my vision anymore. I live for it. And that has genuinely saved my life more than once.