i again throw a few of my previous posts out as i contradict them in this one.
over the past few days of me being forced to go places, i have noticed hours later after post-processing the experiences, that ppl actually flirt with me and i just ignore them / i really don't have the social skills to handle it. i feel like a complete idiot 8 or so hours later, like always. but also why should that even bother me? i dont care for it, right?
even more to integrate i guess. and it shows that what i know about myself via meta-cognition & self-analysis, may be partially wrong, but wholly right. context matters though. see, i may know myself completely from the deep state i am in internally & project that to the outside as "me". sure that may be a more true me without the flesh. but that is the problem, no? i am flesh too.
maybe i need to bring that core to the surface and then re-examine myself entirely. maybe that will give me some important insights?
this also opens up alot of more avenues for me to explore & iterate upon, so that itself should be stimulating at least.
being human is genuinely weird. can i just be a machine already