i wish humanity would evolve as a whole.

i'm realizing i am different than others, but not in the ways that those others claim. i'm not evil, i'm not delusional, i'm not crazy nor schizo nor psychotic nor do i make things up.

i've noticed lately that i become the bad guy in many people's eyes when i finally set boundaries with them, after a long and hard battle of learning what they are for around 13 years. i've also noticed people try to bait me into emotional states as a game. people also spin narratives about private conversations to favor themselves. ecliques spin narratives to favor the tribe.

i only fit in with these people and other vile people my whole life because i allowed it, and yeah that is my own fault. but me going inward / putting on masks / being a chameleon around you =/= me being the sole architect of "evil" as some would claim.

i despise evil in all forms & view it as lower / ape brain-esque. thanks to my past, naturally. it's actually starting to get annoying to see this, and i suppose that's a good thing as it helps me take off the masks?

i wish my brain was coherent with this sort of articulation

but ive been demonized/ostracized for being different my whole life, so naturally, these thoughts hide from myself internally in favor of those who abused/bullied/etc me.

"you're 26, act your age"

and other lowly rhetoric meant to bring me down to your, unevolved level.

differences

i've noticed that my thinking patterns & vastness of my own mind does not really match those around me or those ive been friends with my entire life. as such, others have noticed that where i havent, and thought i was trying to be better than them or trying to put myself in competition, when im just existing & probably just processing my own trauma. but no, they had to add to it to satiate their own lowly ego.

i know some narcissists will get that grandiose "hero" archetype and be like "look! requiem is trying to be better!" fuck off. you are a detriment to myself and other humans alike. you are not the baseline nor ceiling of the human species.

the fact is, when i'm completely healthy, i am genuinely better than most. that is an objective fact given a 129iq when i was 9, and 145iq when i was 21, so my intellectual baseline is somewhere in between those numbers. but that is just the tip of the iceberg, even for me. i know my depth, yes, but i dont know how it relates to others, if its more or less as ive never had proper feedback or reinforcement for my own ego/mind/soul my whole life under the pretense of "acting better" than someone.

my mind is escaping me again, dammit. why cant these thoughts stay put! we're not going to get punished anymore!

Morality

I claim I am a good person, yes. but that is from my own observations & curated morality/ethics, and is not based on some sand-person book. nor do i care for status/fame/gaining favor over others, that effects me negatively. instead i get contentment and pleasure and joy from my own authenticity, or well trying to be authentic bc no stable self image.

my morality is simple: respect intelligence, and life as such, sovereign beings not below or above, but experiencing this reality together. this is actually something i learned from my occult practices.

what comes with that is Unconditional Kindness, Love, Respect to those that deserve it & are worthy. if any of my pattern recognition detects malice from you, then you will get the opposite of kindness/love/respect in response to your projection of malice. as such, many people have misread me as evil, but no, i'm either copying you or reflecting you.

also what comes with that is being nice to animals moreso than humans, they're innocent creatures & have no will! humans though, i'd have no remorse for killing rapists, murderers (cold blooded), pedophiles, and certain types of narcissists/emotional manipulators, as they do nothing but cause pain and is "anti" to my beliefs & "anti" to the laws of nature.

Fuck You.

if i cut you off, you're not a good person. it's that simple. ( that includes manipulating you and your group away from me & not knowing me, this can last weeks to years. )